The Mercury Retrograde that is currently taking place is getting on my nerves really bad. It seems that everything is very off and when I do my part and go hard it’s someone supposedly people who I am working with just cannot seem to get shit right on their end. Things are feeling kinda slow for me due to this reason and so I have to get somethings off my chest.
Honestly I wish the agency that I work for get their shot together or a matter of fact, I don’t even know if I care about if they decided to get their shit together because how in the fuck are they a staffing agency and not registered with a department of health employer code. I mean the experience with the last placement and how they move when it comes to important things like licensures and payment, this agency isn’t making me feel any confident that they can ensure that I have licensures and paperwork needed for me to land employment with a hospital or facility.
I have been out of work for two weeks due to my CNA license needing missing information that was suppose to be provided by the human resources department at my agency. They didn’t even do the signatures correctly on first application for the renewal and so thats what caused it to be in pending status, then they provided the signatures but not the fucking state employer code on the application which is causing it to be in pending status again. And so now with my rent due and other bills due and being tapped out to my last dollar, I figure that I make them do their job. I cannot and do not have the time for them to sit on their hands and no do their job. Read the WHOLE APPLICATION. Put the information that is beeded and asked for on the lines and dont skip any lines and nothing cannot be missing!!!!!! That’s the fuck all.
Like I cannot explain to my landlord why I cannot make rent or explain to my damn stomach why I cannot eat or explain to debt collectors why I don’t have their money. You see, I just don’t have the time or patience for any of these mishaps but for some reason they keep happening. From my phones dropping and cracked screens to Feeling very down and depresed and not motivated to slipping on my own ass, I just cannot seem to shake this feeling of being totall off and upside down.
I don’t want to feel this way at all and I am hoping for all of this to end soon. I have bills and rent to pay and I also got projects to fund and shit to fucking do. I don’t have time but I am trying very hard to be patient. I know that I will be out of my situation soon and I am going to be annoying and tough and get shit the fuck done. I will be employed by the end of this month.
In the meantime, I am pulling myself out of this funk and giving back to my creativity and my mental health. I have been also giving back to my community as well by promoting writers, artist, bloggers and podcasters on twitter and promoting my works as well and it has been absolutely great and beneficial because I am learning and exploring all kinds of new things and that is great right?
So I take it one day at a time. I love the support system I have. It’s not that big at all but my roommates are amazing. My spiritual guidance is pretty strong and thats a good thing right. My anxiety is through the fucking roof but I am trying very hard to shake it and deal with it.
So with this being said. I will continue to be the best person I can be and haven’t gave up on pounding the pavement. I need Money, I gotta get the bag and I am trying hard as fuck to get it. Im thankful and grateful for the little things and being mindful of those big and small things and the inbetweens.